EP27 Frances Fomai : Building generational wealth through Freight Brokerage and Fostering Female Empowerment

in this Episode 27  , My guest is Frances Fomai Entrepreneur in the Freight Brokering Industry  and  Author of "Can you hear me "
Imagine discovering the key to generational wealth in an unexpected industry. Meet Fran, our fascinating guest who, alongside her sister, embarked on a journey to build their fortune through freight brokering. Their story of determination, from distributing flyers door-to-door to overcoming challenges and establishing their successful venture, Dispatch Help, is nothing short of inspiring. Fran's project management prowess, her relentless spirit, and her uncanny ability to adapt and innovate, make this a riveting tale filled with actionable insights.

Fran's journey doesn't stop at business success. She is a force of empowerment, especially for women in trucking. She shares how a chance encounter at a trade show and leveraging social media led to a surge in her business while simultaneously empowering female presence in the industry. When the pandemic hit, Fran demonstrated her adaptability once again, seamlessly shifting to freight brokering and emphasizing the crucial role of organization, networking, and technology in business survival and growth.

But Fran's story isn't exclusively about business. She opens up about her personal life, sharing her experiences of therapy, the process of unpacking oneself, and the importance of effective communication, especially with her children. She discusses her book, aimed at assisting individuals in need of life changes and her book "Can you hear me " . Her stories are not just about success; they are about personal growth, authenticity, taking ownership, and letting go of what no longer serves one. Join us for this enlightening conversation, and find motivation in Fran's journey of resilience, growth, and empowerment.

0:00 Intro
0:08 Building Generational Wealth Through Freight
7:36 Empowering Women in the Trucking Industry
18:46 Post-Pandemic Success and Parenting Challenges
27:33 The Journey to Personal Growth
41:05 Networking and Building a Supportive Circle
51:36 5 years from now
54:09 Trailblazer takeaways
55:34 Encouraging Book, Inspiring Stories, and Podcasts



Follow Frances Fomai 
@frances.fomai
Business & Book Info 
https://linktr.ee/Dispatchelp
https://youtu.be/zCjJLDcGd_g

Listen : to the audio version Apple Spotify .Amazon Music Google Podcasts
Watch and subscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@Thetrailblazersexperience
Follow Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/thetrailblazersexperience/

Transcript

The Trailblazers Experience : 0:08

So, Fran, thank you so much. We've had for those who don't know, just before we started recording, we've been just having a laugh which I think just humanizing us as women.

Frances Fomai : 0:19

Well, thank you for having me dear. I appreciate it.

The Trailblazers Experience : 0:22

Yeah, and speaks to our characters, isn't it? I think if you can't laugh through life, then it's not a sign of perseverance, resilience and just the ability to crack on with stuff if you need to.

Frances Fomai : 0:34

Absolutely. I definitely use it as a coping mechanism, for sure, yeah.

The Trailblazers Experience : 0:40

So tell me your story, fran. So, first of all, who is Fran and what do you think are the events in your life that have led you to this moment where we're going to be talking about your business, but also you as an author?

Frances Fomai : 0:56

Yeah, so when people ask me that question, I'm like the first thing I always think of is where do I start? Right yeah. So what led me into freight brokering? Or you just want to kind of the whole how I got to where I'm at now.

The Trailblazers Experience : 1:15

I mean, we can start about what led you into freight brokering, but I think there's always a backstory before that. So if you tell the backstory before, that will give us a bit of context. Sure.

Frances Fomai : 1:24

So my son, my daughter and I, we were all trying to put a business together because we wanted to create it. We wanted to create wealth for our family, because that's not something that we practiced Not that I know of, because I grew up in a single family home and so when we got together, my son he had most of the assets, and then me and my sister we would come in with whatever supplements that we had. And so we kind of went through a couple of ideas. It was either real estate or we would do transportation, and I forgot what the third thing was.

Frances Fomai : 2:04

A couple of weeks into our meetings, my son decided that he wanted something quicker, and we told him that this would take a while. We were going to do real estate. We can't expect that return immediately. And so he decided to go in another direction and my sister was like well, sis, why don't we do trucking? And I'm like I had to have no clue, no idea what trucking is. And then she was like well, I'm in trucking school and I'm like what, you're in trucking school? She's like, yeah, I'm two months away from graduating.

Frances Fomai : 2:37

I'm like, okay, and then after, after that, she goes yeah, I also took a dispatching course and I'm like what is that? She's like well, we call, we gather truckers, we have like a list of them and then we solicit them to these different freight brokerages or the shipping companies and then we can get a percentage of that. And I was like, okay, well, where's the course? So she gave me the course, we took the trucking gurus course and I think that took me about maybe three months to absorb everything. And then we hit the ground running. I made flyers, because my background is in signage and graphics and so we came up with the name called Dispatch Help, and so we walked around at like three o'clock in the morning with these big old pink bowls on our head, with our pink flyers at the ports, passing out these flyers looking like Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse, I mean classic door to door salesman type thing that you were doing.

Frances Fomai : 3:51

Yes, but we were at the actual ports with the trucks that were just lined up and we're like all right, well, we got you guys. You can't go anywhere because you're waiting to get into the port. So that's how it happened, that's how we got into dispatching and that's also how I got into free brokering as well. But there's a little story behind that as well, but I'll let you.

The Trailblazers Experience : 4:13

I mean, that's really interesting, Just the whole thing that you got together as a family and had a conversation which I would say, culturally, maybe, something that's not talked about. I can speak for myself from an African black culture. Building generational wealth is not something that's talked about because we've had to struggle so much, have only just probably gained freedoms whether it's the end of the civil rights movement, colonialization A lot of things have happened that haven't allowed us to do so or even when we do, have inherited land from a village, et cetera, the main goal has been to go to university, educate yourself, and then you can go to the university, educate yourself, blend into the society that you're in. So the fact that you sat down and said, uh-oh, we want to do something different, we want to change the narrative, we want to change our story and create generational wealth I mean, if that's a trailblazer tip over there for people to have those conversations, I think is pretty good.

The Trailblazers Experience : 5:19

But your background, so you said, is back as graphics and signage. So how, yeah, how, did your sister then think well, it would be great to do business with you. Who has the business acumen then, from the both of you? Okay, yeah.

Frances Fomai : 5:37

So, um, I have a lot of experience in project management. Um, I worked with quite a few small businesses. Whenever I worked with these companies, people would always tell me do you own the company? And I'm no, I'm just taking ownership of the position that I'm in. If I don't, who is going to? So it was through working with those small businesses I've learned how to do accounting. I've learned how to do all the the back work in order to make a business flow.

The Trailblazers Experience : 6:10

Yeah, and what have been some of the challenges you've experienced with with this business so far. Before we talk about the success, Sure.

Frances Fomai : 6:20

So with dispatching, um, a couple of months in, when let me tell you how we actually got started, prior to all this happening. So I was telling my sister to marketing, hey, I think we need to go to a trade show. So we ended up going to a trade show called she trucking and I felt within myself and I feel like that's kind of one of the things that we miss as people is that we need to listen to our intuition so within myself, I said, man, I think we really need to go and let's just book this, this 10 by 10, so that we can have a booth there at at the trucking show. So we did, once again, like I said, because of my background, I had created some shirts there and then, um, oh, we came up with a, um, a trucking line for women called she class a, and so I utilized that trucking brand in order for us to promote our company called dispatch help. So we took T shirts, we took canvas bags and then my little flyers and, of course, my little Mickey Mouse thing so I could stand out in the crowd and we ended up. Well, she didn't go, but I told her that I was going and so I did the show by myself, and I ended up meeting a couple of people there.

Frances Fomai : 7:44

One is Brian from expeditors, and then it's Tony from Swinton Transportation, and then I also met Simone uh, from my enterprise. Well, come to find out, uh, brian, he had like this whole network of uh Vans. What do you call those? What do you call those Vans that? Um, everybody has those like high roof Vans. Okay, yeah, yes, so cargo Vans. And so come to find out that cargo Vans are one of the hardest vehicles to dispatch because they're a dime a dozen. You really have to be on the boots on the ground running in order for you to find clients, according to what was told to me.

Frances Fomai : 8:32

Mind you, once again, my background wasn't transportation. I just know how to hustle, I just know how to call, I'm not afraid to talk to people, and so I ended up connecting with Tony, who was a cargo van driver, and he is also an owner operator. I didn't know that Tony also had a platform on YouTube and Instagram where there were lots of people that are following him Because he writes songs about transportation. It sounds funny, but it is it, yes, yes, and he just talks about the different struggles he's experiencing while he's in there, or he talks about the money, or he talks about what his thoughts are while he's driving, and I'll send you a link of it, but it is he's called Tee Swinn and, oh my god, it is so genius.

Frances Fomai : 9:24

Yeah and, anyways, he had shouted me out on a social media platform, and then I had an influx of carriers reach out to me and my sister and I was like whoa, mind you, we had just finished setting up all of our forms so we can do an intake, and so I was calling my sister. I may have been a little bit incessant, maybe a lot of it.

The Trailblazers Experience : 9:52

You went to this trade show, not just to. You are really on that networking tip. You're like I'm gonna have conversations with people and that is that's really where your first you know Big deals and so on. Then stand out by you just talking to people.

Frances Fomai : 10:07

Yeah, totally. I ran into so many people. Even what's her name? They call her Shaq and she's from agate solutions and like she is a big deal in trucking and I didn't think that I would meet. You know people with that. I didn't know she was connected to that game. I was just I just saw her on truck, truck and hustle, which is one of the largest podcast for the trucking community, and I'm like, is that Shaq? Oh, my god, that's Shaq. I'm like starstruck. You know people get excited over Beyonce. I'm like that has nothing to do with my pockets.

The Trailblazers Experience : 10:50

This one does yeah, yeah.

Frances Fomai : 10:56

Yeah, it's just she is so knowledgeable that it's really insane when you think about like gurus for different industries. She's one of them for the trucking industry.

The Trailblazers Experience : 11:07

And we talked about it. And oh yeah, and we talked about it before the Podcast started, because I was reading on women who are not in the business of trucking, but women who are truckers, which is obviously a different sector and it's not Really one that's dominated by women. But the business of trucking, you said there are so many you know Successful women doing business in in your area that you just think, wow, it's something that we also need to educate our young girls out there, that there's something else they can go into you know not just a class.

The Trailblazers Experience : 11:42

They'll be an accountant, be a nurse, be a doctor, be it. Not everybody can be that. There is another industry out there, yeah, yeah.

Frances Fomai : 11:49

Oh, I forgot to finish my story. For what happened? The struggle, yes, yes, may I God okay. So when the influx of drivers came in, I was telling my sister hey, make sure that we have everything in tag, make sure we have all of their insurance information. So she was doing some of the back end, because I was still working full-time at this time and so I would call her frequently just to make sure that we're on top of things. And during that week, when the drivers were coming in, she ended up ghosting me. Yes, wow, yes. So when she ghosted me, like I was calling and I was like thinking, oh, you know, maybe there's something going on with the phone. You know, there's all kinds of things running through my mind. So after she didn't answer for three days, I just figured that this was a sign either I'm gonna put up or shut up. So I put up and I started to.

Frances Fomai : 12:58

At the same time as I was working, I was looking for loads for the drivers that we are had already secured, and so I would do that at the same time. Boy, was that kicking my behind? And so that's what I did. I did that until I was trying to figure out what to do after that and because of that I Ended.

Frances Fomai : 13:19

I had ended up running into the neighbor who I had seen had all these trucks going by and I was thinking, oh, maybe I can dispatch his trucks. And then when we, when I meet with him, he's like do you have any experience in trucking? I was like, nope, but I know how to hustle. He's like man, you got some balls. And I was just like I've heard that before. So he said that he needed a partner because he wanted to open up a freight brokerage but he didn't have anybody to help him. So I said I'm with it. So I had became partner with him at all American port logistics and still doing dispatch help at the time. But at least I was able to do, you know, both because of that opportunity.

The Trailblazers Experience : 14:08

So I'm never able to contact suit gotten at the time, my guess yeah yeah, I actually, before I left the owner of the previous company.

Frances Fomai : 14:17

He wanted me to stay and become a partner with him at his at the signage company, but I felt like I had already Experienced everything that I need to experience there. I already had to hit a plateau in signage for what, what I felt, and so I couldn't learn anything further. So I just wanted to. I just wanted to expand and grow.

The Trailblazers Experience : 14:41

Yeah, you saw an opportunity and and there was an interest there. But, girl, I mean, when you've been ghosted that way that that could have gone two different ways, you could have just Said look, this is not for me, this is not happening. But you, what type of resilience or what trait or or Character-ristic do you think you have in you that just made you say I'm just gonna make this happen?

Frances Fomai : 15:07

Well, on my daily job, I do project management and I'm sure that you're familiar with project management. You just have to figure out how to put out fires when they come. So I just figured this is probably just one of those things, and I'm assuming my sister maybe may not have had that experience and so it may have been overwhelming for her, and so I just said I Got it. I put in all this time and effort. Nobody's gonna take this away from me, I don't care who it is. So I just went. Yeah. So I think the resilience really comes from my sales background. When they say people always are telling you know you're like, okay, great, next, let's keep it pushing. So I think that's really where that comes from, and I've always had a Drive to want to become my own, my own company. So I Think that really was a catalyst for me, to push me into where I am today.

The Trailblazers Experience : 16:18

Yeah, yeah, and do you think that drive stems from? From your childhood, because you said you come from a single parent household. So we see, seeing the struggle, there may have been a catalyst or oh, absolutely.

Frances Fomai : 16:29

That was definitely one of the factors and and Because. So when I grew up in our household, my mom was on what do you call that? Like food stamps, cache aid, things of that nature yeah, and it always seemed like we had a shortage at home and I really hated it, and we always seem to live with people and we'd never really had our own place to stay, and so observing those things Made me really want to take my life in another direction. Like I want to have food in my house consistently, I want to make sure that my kids have a place that is consistent, they can they can call home, and because we move so much, people thought that we were in the army and and I wanted my kids to have long-lasting friendships, and so I've only moved like maybe three times in my adult life. Versus when I was kid, I was in maybe like maybe 15 different districts all up and down the coast of California.

The Trailblazers Experience : 17:39

Wow, that's really interesting and good to see that you've just taken the positive out of it. But I was just thinking so it means you know California really well From a dispatching business perspective.

Frances Fomai : 17:53

I would say so.

The Trailblazers Experience : 17:54

That's on the upside. Yeah, I would say so. You know Cali really well. It's really interesting how our early experiences shape us and it can go in one of two directions. And you've used it as a catalyst to say this is how I don't want my life to be and these are the three non-negotiables for how my life should be moving forward.

Frances Fomai : 18:19

Yeah, I didn't even realize I had non-negotiables at that time, but definitely.

The Trailblazers Experience : 18:23

You realize it when you're looking back, isn't it Reflecting on your life? So how long have you had, then, this business, so obviously pivoting from graphics and so on? How long have you been in this industry then?

Frances Fomai : 18:35

So I've been in this industry for almost no, for two years. Yep, Two years Crazy. Can't believe how fast the time flies. It started with COVID.

The Trailblazers Experience : 18:48

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Has it been your post-andemic or post-COVID pivot success story?

Frances Fomai : 18:55

Yeah, yeah, so I think we started in 2020. And then, as we were doing dispatching, that's when I ran into my partner, my business partner now, and so I guess three years total.

The Trailblazers Experience : 19:10

And enjoying it still.

Frances Fomai : 19:13

I'm here, it is definitely paying the bills. I'm really grateful that for this it was a low barrier to entry.

The Trailblazers Experience : 19:29

Yeah, yeah.

Frances Fomai : 19:30

So for doing freight brokering and dispatching, you just need the basic necessities setting up your LLC, things of that nature. All you really need to do is the hustle of it making the calls, not being afraid to hear no, doing little fliers which you can do on Fiverr and those things of that nature. And then also, too, with the freight brokerage, you just have to set up your security bonds and things like that, insurance. So as long as you have those basics covered, you should be fine if you're continuing to make the calls to have the business come in consistently. Yeah.

The Trailblazers Experience : 20:11

And it's good that you've mentioned that, because I think a lot of the time we were talking about it earlier, about how social media is just painting such a very different picture you still have to do the work like that checklist, just run through. Those are the basics. Yes, it is a low barrier to entry, but in order for you to actually make a profit when you're looking at your balance sheet, all of these things that you've just run down have to be done, absolutely yeah. So I think that's a valuable lesson.

Frances Fomai : 20:40

Yeah, I think people have this, like you said, in social media. Oh yeah, this is what this looks like. You're going to make this much money. How long did it take for you to get there? And then, what contacts did you utilize to get there so exactly?

The Trailblazers Experience : 20:57

Yeah, yeah. So do you still do trade shows as well? Is that something that you still do, then, as part of the business?

Frances Fomai : 21:03

Yes, I'm actually. I will be at a trade show on the 20th and 21st at the business expo in Los Angeles. So that will be for a free brokerage. So I won't have my little Mickey Mouse ears, so it won't be that easy to find me.

The Trailblazers Experience : 21:17

But you've just plugged it so we'll put it in the show notes so people will come and have a chat. But look you're from your little hands.

Frances Fomai : 21:27

Yep, yep, I'll just have this little red circle, yeah.

The Trailblazers Experience : 21:32

That's our logo Amazing.

Frances Fomai : 21:36

I came up with a little slogan to put on the back. I got a QR code and I put scan me if you can. So if they try to scan me, I'm going to run away.

The Trailblazers Experience : 21:44

You know, it's all these little things that you just need to pick up and go away with, you know. You don't want to have lots of paperwork for people to fill out. If it's a QR code, they can scan and you know you get their contacts that way. You get your leads then.

Frances Fomai : 21:58

Yeah, brilliant, yeah, don't lose them, like you said, paperwork.

The Trailblazers Experience : 22:04

So you've shared just quite a bit. I mean having such a colorful career and transitioning into other things. You're also an author, so what made you decide to say you know what I'd love to write a book, and actually do it, write the book.

Frances Fomai : 22:26

So initially, when I was writing a book, a gentleman that I used to date who was Nigerian, he had said that I should write about my experiences and I did, but it didn't quite work out that way. It wasn't until my youngest I think. She was like maybe 14 at the time. I don't know if teenagers go through a phase, but I was definitely experiencing some friction at this time in our life. She wouldn't listen to me, Like when I would tell her something to do, she would talk back and for, I think, a lot of, for a lot of quote unquote minorities or communities of color.

Frances Fomai : 23:14

That kind of behavior is unacceptable, and so my first thought was revert to how you were raised when you were younger, which, in a Pacific Island or a household, everything was corporal punishment. The answer to everything was fear, was was created through fear. If you're listening, it's because I told you so. There is no dialogue of hey, can I do this? There isn't any asking. There's I speak. You do go, complete the task and come back. Is that the same with your experience growing up?

The Trailblazers Experience : 23:54

Yeah, yeah, I think it all stems from. You know the hierarchy of culture, so your traditions and your parents are the head of the household. And it's interesting. When I was growing up, I thought my parents were just too strict. Surely you need to let me live a little, because what's the purpose of all of it? But now in hindsight, when I look back, you know and say I understand.

The Trailblazers Experience : 24:20

So my parents grew up in in in three different ways. So they grew up during colonialism, so where there was segregation, where they weren't allowed to go to certain parts of was known as Rhodesia unless you had a pass, and then their family didn't go to school. So they wanted to go to university. They wanted to go to the first ones to go to university and also in order for you to travel or work in in European or American or Asian countries. Usually careers that you should have done are the classic doctor, lawyer, engineer, because they open up doors in terms of the type of visas you could get.

The Trailblazers Experience : 24:56

So when I now hear everything that they went through, I understand why they were, why they were so strict and why they. But on the other hand, I have two boys. I've done a combination of both, where I'm strict but I'm also trying to communicate, trying to be more open, let them actually have curfews, let them expect. I'm trying to do both but also realizing, okay, I've got black boys, I also need to school them on what potentially could happen to them. So I'm sort of torn and I understand why our parents probably just chose the. Let's just keep it real and strict and hardcore.

The Trailblazers Experience : 25:34

I think there is. There is a way to evolve to parent, to match the society that we're in now.

Frances Fomai : 25:41

Yes, absolutely yeah. I had to also take that into consideration too, like what we're talking about, how I grew up, especially like with there being I don't know if I mentioned the emotional connection between me and my mother, because that connection also, too, affected the way that I parented. So my mom was emotionally unavailable and, like you said, we have to understand where they come from in order for us to have some type of empathy. And, as you mentioned earlier, we do have, or there will be, opportunities for us to adjust ourselves to the society that we live in now in order to create more of a dynamic between us and our children. Thank you, I lost my train of thought.

The Trailblazers Experience : 26:34

I was going to tell you about why you wrote the book. Yes, yes, yes. So I think yeah.

Frances Fomai : 26:40

So it was the dynamic that was occurring between me and my 14-year-old that I couldn't marry the culture of how I had grown up with, how she was trying to explain, how she wanted to connect with me as a parent, and because she gave me so much pushback, I really had to look at myself and figure out how this dynamic would work. But it really didn't hit home until that same week. Like an incident like that happened at work, another incident happened with my best friend, which made me all come circle back to what had happened with my daughter and I had to really do some deep diving into self and that's how I started writing. The book was working on the characters that Francis didn't not like.

The Trailblazers Experience : 27:43

It's a bit of you working through your childhood traumas, isn't it? It's a bit like therapy and packing in order for you to give advice to others, you had to unpack yourself.

Frances Fomai : 27:53

Absolutely, absolutely. And the other comment that I was dating at the time he mentioned that I should go to therapy and I thought, okay, well, I'll try that. I've tried it out before, but I really wasn't sure how that dynamic was going to help. But I am so grateful, I'm so grateful to him for just even mentioning that, because he was also a what do you call it? He was also a facilitator and learning how to communicate with my children as well. So because of that experience that I had with him, it really helped me to open up myself, to not be so rigid in the way that I do things.

The Trailblazers Experience : 28:39

Yeah. So if I was to ask you, because obviously, who do you think this book is for? Can you hear me? Who is it for? I?

Frances Fomai : 28:50

think it's for people that are have behaved in one way for so long that now life is asking them to change, and if they feel that they're stuck, this is an opportunity for them to find a tool that will help them get unstuck.

The Trailblazers Experience : 29:19

That's a really good one to get unstuck, nice. And from how has the book been received? Do you think there's a part two? There's another one in you, ted.

Frances Fomai : 29:30

There is actually a blog to my book on how I got to where I am now Because, as you asked me earlier, what's the backstory?

Frances Fomai : 29:39

We all have these different things that affect us and I think in order for us to really have a full scope of where you are now, we need to know where you came from and how that has affected your thinking and you see the transition of what was to what is now. So the book, the new book that I have coming out, is called Victim and Violator, and you'll see the two different dynamics there, and I talk about some things in there that I'm definitely ashamed of having participated in. But, once again, if we don't share the whole aspect of what we've been through, you really don't have the full story. You can't be vulnerable, you can't connect with people and, like you said earlier, the whole humanizing. Yes, I'm an author, yes, I published, but I had to live and experience in order for you to hear this story, and I'm sure it's the same for you. I probably can't live in your shoes if I experience the life that you lived. We all are given different strengths to live the lives we live, so we can be where we are now.

The Trailblazers Experience : 30:51

Yeah, one of the things I took away from the book was taking ownership. So, yes, I come from a different country, I was raised a different way, but I've got two boys who are being raised here in the UK. They're from Germany and then in the UK. So I need to then have that balance of saying, right, those were my traditions. This is a tradition that I think I'd love us to continue because it's rooted in culture, history, et cetera. But there's certain things, behaviors, that I don't think I want us to carry forward. If it doesn't serve us, now let it go.

The Trailblazers Experience : 31:29

And, oh my God, fran, that was like a moment for me. It was a full circle moment Letting go of things that no longer serve you because you're just putting yourself in a necessary bondage. It impacts the relationships you have with the opposite sex. It influences your drive, your ability to how you work in your career, how you network. It does have an impact and those are the things that you need to unpack. So that, for me, was the biggest lesson coming out for myself. So, fran, talk to me about your core values and your beliefs If someone wants to say right, so, fran. She owns a trucking dispatch company. She's a partner in logistics brokerage firm and now she's an author. What are the core things that drive you?

Frances Fomai : 32:28

I think one of the things that drive me today is one not being broke.

The Trailblazers Experience : 32:36

And that yes, yeah, yeah.

Frances Fomai : 32:39

And the second thing is to make sure that when I'm doing something, that there's a mission behind it that I have intention of whatever that goal is like. For being an author, my intention and my goal is to reach people that need to be healed, especially if they come from the kind of background that doesn't allow their voice to be heard. I want them to find their voice and, like I said earlier, to become unstuck so they can find the authenticity within themselves, because when we do find our authenticity, we also find our passion. And when we find our passion, oh my God, there's so many doors and opportunities that open up for us, because the old way of thinking has been buried and now we can move forward with whatever this, this beautiful gift of discovery, is, and just make an imprint on the world with only the way that we can within our own essence.

The Trailblazers Experience : 33:49

That is so beautiful. I mean, yeah, it's, it's. It's a whole cycle of life, isn't it? It's the whole reason for being to find your authentic self. Be authentic self and allow that to. We know people who you know probably will never discover who they are, and if you can find that already in your 20s or even earlier, that's like you're destined for great things. Whatever. Whatever it is that you want decide to do, absolutely. It's so hard because we are still plagued by, you know societal norms of what women should be, what men should be, what careers you should, and it's the needs and it's not there in any of the educational systems, whether it's US, europe, africa is to you know how to find out what your true voices and what your true talents and capabilities, and then giving you the financial literacy, I think, to say, right, why do I turn this into something that will make sure that a I'm not broke, right?

Frances Fomai : 34:56

That section is there?

The Trailblazers Experience : 34:59

No, it isn't.

Frances Fomai : 35:00

It isn't at all yeah.

The Trailblazers Experience : 35:04

Talk to me about your circle. You've talked about your family, your business and how important your circle has been to you. Know you as an author, as a business owner, throughout your life.

Frances Fomai : 35:19

So my circle of friends is very small. I can count on one hand who I can call for advice.

The Trailblazers Experience : 35:29

I mean we know that's to be true, isn't it?

Frances Fomai : 35:35

It's, I feel like it's good, and then in some sense I feel like a kind of grievance, almost, because it's like these people that you've called friend and sis throughout the years and now they're no longer. They're no longer the same people that they're not capable, but they can't hang with you because you've elevated to where that kind of behavior, like you said earlier, is no longer serving me. And so if you continue to have these conversations with those people, you continue to have the same conversations and there's no elevation, you can put a dim on the way that they move in their own life, but I think, as people who want to expand and grow, they need to move in a different direction. What's the saying? If you want different results, you can't go in with the same thinking that you went in. That created the problem. So my circle of friends, it's only two. There's Fran and it's funny, my best friend's name is Fran and I'm Fran, and I'm not talking about myself.

The Trailblazers Experience : 36:56

Just changing From podcast. The other friend is in the room.

Frances Fomai : 37:05

Okay, that's Fran V and I'm Fran. And then there is Simone from from my enterprise, when I was mentioning earlier that I met in Tennessee Simone. I utilize Simone in our friendship and then also business, so she's definitely there to help me with that aspect. And then Fran, she helped me through the transition with the in the second chapter of my book, when I talk about having a problem with the owner where we were butting heads. I literally called her almost every day venting about this guy for a whole year and a half. She was like my therapist and I'm like I can't believe this. I just, oh gosh, I would call her in such a flurry of emotions and she'd be like Fran, take a breather. She would coach me into calming down so I can let her know what my emotions were. So she was just kind of my therapist and she's been there. So even we've known each other since I was 14.

The Trailblazers Experience : 38:25

So it takes on the role of active listener. But also when she said, I do you want me now to give you a solution? She's also there to say I think this is what you should do.

Frances Fomai : 38:34

Yeah, she's also a social worker, so she does like trainings for quite a bit of people. I told her that she should do that as a consultation, but you know everybody has their own path that they want to take. But I said after this I think you need to come into our company and help us overall, Overall, overall our communication amongst our team.

The Trailblazers Experience : 39:00

But you know it's interesting because the friendships I sought when I was very young were friendships of validation. I wanted them to validate me and who I was. It was really terrible, honestly, and I've always had a self confidence in me and my parents. So it says you're unique, you're special, you're beautiful, you're bright, but I wanted somebody else to validate that. And then at some point I just said you know what? This is not serving me. I'm surrounding myself with people who don't really care about me, have nothing to offer.

The Trailblazers Experience : 39:36

And I think it was Oprah said look at the five people you are that you surround yourself with, even if it's three or two, and if they're all idiots, well, you're an idiot as well. And I was like oh my God, I need to change my circle really quickly, but also do things that serve me, and in that way you also attract people who are intelligent, knowledgeable, can give advice, can hold you accountable. Your circle just changes already. You know it just goes in a whole different direction. And if someone was to say, well, would you go on a girls trip with some of the women I was affiliated with 25 years ago? I probably would say no.

Frances Fomai : 40:20

So when, for yourself, did you find that transition occurring for you as far as your circle of friends?

The Trailblazers Experience : 40:28

Yeah, I think that happened for me when so a when I got married, and two, when I got pregnant and I realized they don't have children. I do, and I was going in a different direction of how I wanted my life to be, and then I was also thinking of career prospects. That's when I knew how tough it was to be not only a woman, but if you were a woman with a child, you had to work five times as hard to even progress in your career, because the common thing was oh, but, but you know, who's going to look after the kid? How are you going to manage with childcare? How are you just used to find it so weird saying how come you're not asking my male counterparts that question? But that was a big, pivotal thing because my circle had immediately changed. You know, I could not just go out on the weekends because I had a baby at home and I also want to.

The Trailblazers Experience : 41:13

You know, I wanted to do other things and when I said things like oh, you know how about? We have a day of going to and very much into arts and culture. So I'd say, you know, there's an exhibition in town on a Saturday, can we do that? And they'd say no, and I said, okay, I will go by myself, went there, found a community of women who were similar to me and suddenly just started. You know, you see yourself breaking away from that circle and you don't feel bad about it. You just say, okay, I'm actually feeling much better about myself, my integrity, my values, I'm being seen, I'm being heard, I'm being respected and I'm being empowered.

The Trailblazers Experience : 41:54

So when I had ideas for things I wanted to do, it was acknowledged, it was praised. It was just a different dynamic. And only because I had to make that transition, I didn't wait for them to say we don't want to hang out with you. I had to then say this is not serving me at all. Yeah, sharing. So my circle is very small. Three very close friends. I still have, you know, people who I talk to, but close circle, three, that's. It Got one of me and they just just it just happened that way. Yeah, yeah. And also, what I find fun is, I mean, the internet. We would have never met each other. Yeah, I know, I think it's so powerful, yeah.

The Trailblazers Experience : 42:47

How you can connect with people. I mean, my first connection of people is with MySpace. You probably remember MySpace, I do.

Frances Fomai : 42:53

Yeah, myspace, I can't fake it. I think if you type out my name, you can still find the MySpace profile.

The Trailblazers Experience : 43:03

Delete it for some reason, I don't know, but yeah so circling back. Talking about your circle, you have two people who just acknowledge you. Networking, I think, is still a very big part of your business. So, if we're talking about the business aspect, how has that evolved for you over time and how have you finessed the art of networking?

Frances Fomai : 43:27

I don't know if I've really finessed it, but I still join the chamber meetings that occur, or earlier I mentioned going to a trade show, which I don't believe the company that I'm with now had actually utilized that as a tool in the past. So this is actually something new for them and just creating different connections. Wherever I go, I'm always thinking about for me, I'm always thinking about work. It's just a part of my daily process. It's like I am the individual that has a business and it's just something that just comes out of my conversation. I don't know how to separate the two. I don't know if you do or you can give me some tips on that.

The Trailblazers Experience : 44:22

What I realized is when I went to my first networking event. It was so weird because all I was talking about was my job and my CV, and a friend, a good colleague of mine, who I'm still very close with she said that's not how it works. I was like what do you mean? You're not here to run through your CV and what you did in 1991 and 1992. You're here to meet people, so just talk about things that interest you hobbies, current events. Don't even bring up the business side. Yes, but then it means I've just talked. And then what's going to happen afterwards? You might exchange contacts. When you exchange contacts, when you do a follow up, just highlight something that you talked about that made sense. Don't once again run through your CV the third time. Maybe you might meet again for a coffee and then something. But also, if the person is genuinely interested in what you have to offer in terms of a business or a service or a product, they will immediately make that clear. If not, you continue the networking circle.

Frances Fomai : 45:28

Yeah, maybe I misunderstood the question, but yes, that is actually how I approach it, because before we are in our company and in the business of things, we forget about the human portion of us. So I never really like to open up. I do my 30 second spiel if that's what they want, but I do connect with them on a different topic, like you said, because nobody wants to hear that initially, what they say, nobody cares until they know that you care.

The Trailblazers Experience : 46:01

Yes, yeah.

Frances Fomai : 46:02

So we want to make them 30 second opener.

The Trailblazers Experience : 46:05

It's like yeah, you know, I've got a brokerage business full stop. It's not, oh, and I've been in this for 25 years and I've got this and if you need this I can give you a discount. No, it's just keep.

Frances Fomai : 46:19

We call it salesman's vomit.

The Trailblazers Experience : 46:21

Is that what it is Salesman's vomit.

Frances Fomai : 46:23

It's a salesman's vomit, because it's like okay, I'm not sure why that's relevant. Actually, I don't even know why you approached me.

The Trailblazers Experience : 46:36

No right. You know those awkward moments where you're standing and talking and you realize the conversation is going nowhere.

Frances Fomai : 46:43

Yes, yes, totally. I can remember my first networking event and it was like nothing but Pacific Islander what do you call that? Pacific Islander businesses? And I thought to myself what the heck? I have no formal training in how to do networking. And the first thing that popped up in my head was church. So in church, the pastor would say go around and greet your neighbor. So that's what I did I greeted my neighbor.

The Trailblazers Experience : 47:20

Well, any Bible verses? I could just hear you now 413, I can do all things.

Frances Fomai : 47:28

I can do all things to crush the strength, because we know I didn't event but I knew I needed some strength at that event because I was nervous and had no clue. But once again it goes back into that resilience thing that you asked about earlier. It's like you know what is your feet? Yeah, definitely.

The Trailblazers Experience : 47:50

I think that's it. You could have done that or had a panic attack, and then nothing was going to Well.

Frances Fomai : 47:55

I think when you have an event with food, you know, I think that kind of even keels out the situation. You can talk about food when you're there, yeah.

The Trailblazers Experience : 48:06

And Fran, the reason why I asked this question is once again, you know, there's some young lady woman who's going to Google this podcast, start watching it and then the part on networking will come up and really a go to the networking event is what we're saying, but there is no. Maybe there is a book that someone's written, but honestly, it's people that you're dealing with and just think logically and just have a conversation. Start off there, let's see where it goes.

Frances Fomai : 48:38

Don't call Bible scriptures. No, don't do that. No, Jehovah.

The Trailblazers Experience : 48:46

No, because you're never in hell. What if someone's an atheist? What if they don't like religion? So you need to pick and choose neutral topics that resonate with with everyone. I remember going to one of my first networking events and the guy had a notepad. It was the days of business cards and literally it was one of those where you could open it and you could slide your business card in.

The Trailblazers Experience : 49:07

And it was a knee jet, so I kept. So we need to be in contact and the company I was working for the time they were very strict with printing out business cards I don't know why budget thing and so on. So and the business cards were really nice, so you only gave them out when you really wanted that person to contact you and I just found it a bit cheesy. So someone else said well, what I do is I memorize the person's name and two, two things they've told me about themselves and they say they're into I don't know football and they talk about their favorite team that connects them together. So if they ever meet again, that's the thing they'll remember, versus you trying to write down stuff Now at a trade show stand.

The Trailblazers Experience : 49:47

Obviously you're there to prospect and and get contacts, but it's those little things like just remembering someone's name, remembering something they said that resonated, it does. It does go further when they're deciding who they want to respond to on an email or a cold call. But yeah, I'll never forget him with his massive book. He was there.

Frances Fomai : 50:10

He was just collecting leads, so I can say he did something Exactly, exactly. I think that's very important. Like you said, when we are talking to people to connect them with you know something that they said. I also do connect the person with what they do for work, and if they said something that's relevant, I'll also bring that up in the conversation because it lets them know that you are actually listening.

The Trailblazers Experience : 50:42

Yes, you're actively listening to what they're saying. Yeah, In their expression. Circling back now, we've talked about a lot of things. You've had a very colorful life, colorful career, but one thing that I think is just resonating with me is you're living a life of intent of purpose. You don't do things that you don't enjoy, Like if it's not serving you. You're sort of letting these things go. What do you think are your plans now for the next? If you look on five years and we talk to you, then what's Fran doing at that moment?

Frances Fomai : 51:20

I think five years from now, fran will be doing public speaking for a living. So I definitely see myself at TEDx events, just having different conversations to where people can empower themselves and find the gift that may have been buried that I think that's really one of the main things that pushes me is I, because my voice was suppressed for so long when I was younger. I want others to experience their own voice in their own essence, in their own way, and express that in the world. Because I think people think sometimes, when they don't have a mission or if they don't feel like they have a purpose, they're like here, I am again waking up and going to work and I'm doing the same thing over and over and over again. I think when we do have that mission and that purpose, it really changes the outlook of how we approach things and how we live life or how we can live life.

The Trailblazers Experience : 52:28

And even the outcome. I mean that resonates so much the fact now we can go on YouTube and type in whatever we're looking for, and if your face pops up and you're speaking to me, that's already a life-changing moment. As to whatever situation I was in at the time, whatever doubt I had, it's just that one voice to say right, I can do this, I can pick myself up again, I can move in this different direction. Fear is our biggest hurdle, isn't it?

Frances Fomai : 52:58

Oh, it absolutely is Fear of fear dear.

Frances Fomai : 53:02

Yeah, I think I heard Brunet Brown say something like if you have fear. Now she was having a conversation and she said she allows fear to have its voice and she says that I hear you, I heard your grievances, but I cannot allow you to drive where we are going at in our life. You're invited but you can't drive. And so with the different things that I do in my life, I try to make sure to keep that in the back of my mind, because some of the undertakings or the voyages that we take in our lives, they can be scary, but do it. Even if you're scared, do it. Scared anyway is what she said.

The Trailblazers Experience : 53:52

I love that Trailblazer takeaway tips. I feel like you've shared so many. If you were to share three, how many would they?

Frances Fomai : 54:00

be, but one would be. Whenever you go to a space, always ask yourself the question. Always leave a place better than you found it. I think the second thing would like we said earlier we talked about ownership, and when you do find yourself in a space where you do have to take ownership or something and it may not be something that you liked I think having the guts and having the fortitude to say that hey, I messed up creates more of a connection for the long-term with whomever that group is that you've connected with. And the third thing is to be authentic, is to try to find what that authenticity is. Regardless of the bells and whistles or the tools that people say that are gonna make us stand out, Authenticity is one of the essential things that cause us to stand out, because nobody can say the things the way that we say it, Nobody can express the things the way that we can express it, Nobody can bring into fruition the things that the way that we can do them. So authenticity would be my third thing.

The Trailblazers Experience : 55:30

Amazing Fran. This has been great. I would encourage everyone to buy the book called Can you Hear Me? And I look forward to seeing you at the next TEDx in the future. Thank you, and I'm sure your story will inspire some young woman girl out there who's contemplating, thinking about what do I do with my life? Is there a different direction I can take and if so, what can I do? Is there someone who is out there representing I think you are, so thank you so much.

Frances Fomai : 56:07

You're welcome. Thank you for having me, dear.

The Trailblazers Experience : 56:11

So to our lovely viewers, this has been the Trailblazers Experience podcast. Tell another woman about the podcast, subscribe and share. Thank you so much. Thank you, just Google channel.